#19: show up! show yourself

Showing up
doesn't mean
walking in,
saying hello,
saying all the right things.

It doesn't mean putting on a face,
or begging your own face to smile.

Showing up
means being in,
all in,
every day,
of your life,
your story.
Fighting through every fearful,
and every tearful,
moment.

Refusing to hide or escape to comfort.
Giving yourself the space and the permission
to let joy in,
to feel it all,
all the time.

Showing up,
is opening the hard conversations,
opening your heart,
to all the love,
and all the pain,
that comes from being all in,
that comes from being alive.

If I'm not showing up
as my honest self,
for myself,
for my family,
for God,
then, my God, who am I showing up for, or showing up as?
What does she have to prove,
by hiding the messy parts?
[...nothing.]

There's a lot you could lose by showing up,
but you will lose yourself, if you don't.

////////////////////////////

I've grown to love her -- this girl.
I believe in her, in me,
when I can see her,
when I can hear her,
when she's bold enough to show up,
as the real,
the imperfect,
self.

I'm still working on showing up.
I'm still working on showing them the real me.


///

show up! show yourself.